|
|
|
août 21e, 2037
03:21 pm - A note to readers
Most of this livejournal, most of the entries and most of the characters mentioned, are fiction or bits of reality mixed with shameless fiction. If you keep this in mind, you shall avoid some confusion. You have been warned!
Also, I have mild graphomania. Which means I compulsively write things down, in class, on the subway, when I'm waiting for things...and so on. Even if it's not anything useful, I write it down. Especially if it isn't useful. And yet I don't compulsively write To Other People...just to me.
---
As of 10/18/2007:
DEAR EVERYONE-
For all practical purposes, during the weekdays I am a cold heartless monster. Do not expect me to act like a human being during those days. I warned you.
|
février 9e, 2010
11:28 pm - lala fashion
well, the fashion designer I had planned to meet today who got kinda weird in the night called me up this morning and straightened things out between us and it seems there were misunderstandings all around so I went to the fitting and it looks like I really am doing runway at the end of Feb at webster hall. It's going to be some kind of Haiti fundraiser with circus acts and other stuff in addition to fashion shows, admission $10, so if you want to see me saunter around in a mix of skin-tight outfits and little-girl glam skirts at the end of Feb, let me know and I'll give you details as I find out more.
Fitting was kind of amusing as apparently I was the only model among many many models she's working with who could fit into the size double zero skirt she has, surprising both of us considering my butt is definitely not a double zero. It's all in the waist in this case I guess. The rest of the skirt is poufy and loose, it's only the waist that stops others from being able to put it on.
My body seems to range from being size 00 to size 5/6 depending on the part in question. She says this is unusual. I really thought everyone had ranges this varied.
|
08:58 pm - pictures
This is actually the back of a prom dress I bought at goodwill today for $25. I cut away the front part to make it more danceable, but what you see is not the way it would fit if I weren't holding the back tight. This dress is about twice my size in the waist, and needs to be modified in the back so it will fit me well. My thoughts are to cut away the excess material and make holes for corset type strings so it can be pulled tight when worn. I'm a bit too curvy for a waist section to fit me really well unless there's some kind of corset/woven string fastening involved. The waists of most dresses are too straight-up-and-down for me and not comfortable to dance in.
( more )
|
04:46 am - ack and insanity
so, I'm in a delicate situation. One of my crew is not entirely comfortable sleeping in a room with strangers present. But it's unlikely that there will be enough performer rooms that she, Alon, and I will get an entire room to ourselves. So she might not come. And she's probably the best dancer I've ever had. GAH.
|
04:14 am - notes
I canceled the fitting with Other fashion designer. She suddenly got really weird on me, so it's probably best I use my Tuesday to take care of other pressing duties. I love E, and JM, for perhaps completely different reasons. I was going insane having to figure out dancer outfits, but E has been helping me deal. And now I may be getting a cool outfit made for me too.
|
03:42 am - dude
now I know more concretely what I'm doing for my costume ^_^
|
février 7e, 2010
10:19 pm - sort of a poem, I've been too busy to do these even though they help with life stuff
strip the flesh away from the source
we know it was the idol and the idea
not the blood in her veins
she was pustulated in pollution anyway
From that psychosomatic retinal blast
I can feed a thread of beauty so vivid it hurts
through the eye of a spinning wheel I pluck with my silver-thimbled tongue
do not mistake the calm slouch in my spine
instead take note of the sub-agitated tic in my mechanical whine
There is no sweat, no evidence but this: I despise you to free myself from your grip
But there was love also, inside an illusion that fell out of my wheelbarrow so many times
I began carrying the wheelbarrow on the illusion instead
He asks me why it must always hurt, and I am ashamed to tell him.
He is to be the vicarious me, the one who never stumbled into a gory reality
the one who never let it in and laughed like a bag of cats being beaten
the one who heals without scars and never feels at home in the dark
I will always be too restless for the heated terrarium
perfection is too blank
I generate too many sharp crooked edges which, I am sorry to say, I still disown at every opportunity.
strip me away from my wounds
I divorce the scab, scar, and splinter
But like a split rose seed lying raped in the soil
I find my amputations have left too many flattened surfaces
I am plain that knew tragic majesty
the compression goes both ways, you see.
|
février 6e, 2010
12:26 pm - but getting into fights is awesome!
Sure little kids can get away with saying incredibly nasty things to each other in elementary school, putting gum into each other's hair and so on, but at the same age they are also easily forgiven for getting into physical fights. They're considered too young to be really culpable, unlike teens whose high school records may matter to colleges. Which is why I remember wishing someone had told me at age 8 that punching someone who's been aggressively bullying you is completely forgivable at that age, so long as you quit doing that when you hit middleschool. But no one did, except my grandmother, and this was when she urged me at age 2 or 3 to beat up a boy in nursery school who was beating me up every day. And I don't remember her telling me that. She says I replied, "But if I beat him up then everyone will be beating each other up and nothing is fixed." I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have said that at age 7-9.
|
février 5e, 2010
02:19 pm - choreography
I am working out choreography for Institute today. Sadly, none of the really cool stuff is possible for me to do while singing, so my choreography video is going to be for the dancers (oh you hypothetical and/or imaginary dancers out there, how lucky you are). Another sad thing is that I'm not sure inexperienced dancers will be able to do the last few moves of the opening sequence. It looks pretty cool when I do it, but even if I had a headset mic, these particular moves aren't appropriate for the narrator (and I guess as singer I am the narrator) to be doing. I haven't really had formal training in dance myself, so I figure it's totally possible that similarly inexperienced dancers out there could do this stuff. But then again, I dance all the time and I have built up dance muscles.
So it is a bittersweet sort of choreography day. I've been thinking of putting the composite video (I film it in sections because I keep having to move room to room as others invade or kick me out) on youtube for people to look at in case they want to moonlight as a PC dancer and feel like they got the skillz to do these crazy moves.
|
février 3e, 2010
10:27 pm - mysterious benefactor?
I am in Dobbs, and it seems a package arrived there for me, though addressed to "Jennifer". It is a pair of long silky black gloves from Singapore. They fit perfectly. Definitely not something anyone would buy for my mother and not something she'd want. So maybe they are indeed for me. Happy surprise :)
Thanks, mysterious benefactor!
|
05:38 pm - Maybe the next drinking song
never have sex with a sadistic doctor
Stitching up your thighs later will be awkward
I don't care what promises you say she offered
You shouldn't play with chemicals in bed with droppers
|
04:44 am - the coolness of outfits/people deserves a separate post
This is probably the fourth time I've seen Amy's skirt ensemble, but it's the first time I remembered to write about it. It's this brown overskirt with lace-type edge over white skirt plus vertical stripe nude stockings and shapely shoes. Super cool. The whole outfit is cool but that's my favorite part.
There was a girl with lace tights that really suited her, along with a black dress plus dark green paneled corset. Reminded me of Chicago for some reason. An unknown girl with a neat cane had long hawkish feathers in her hat and a neat ensemble which I can't remember in sufficient detail to enumerate but she and her friend decided to come to the Munchausen room to tell me I was cool. Whether they were talking about my show or my dancing post-show I'm not sure. I saw a neat black and white fascinator, probably overpriced but still very nice. I want one for pictures but I doubt I could wear it for shows without flinging it into the audience by accident while tossing my head or doing some other crazy dance move.
Trouble was there, and we may have hugged. Either that or he hugged me and I didn't hug back because I was overly nervous and distracted. I should have though, he's cute.
Matt was really funny.
Dude: You know very well that pantless people are invisible to Canadians!
Matt: Only if you're wearing the right sort of hat.
I got to autograph a CD for Delphino and talked to his friend Joe. Met a modern dance dude, jumping to music about was accomplished. Chip is cute.
--------
Something introspective now.. once in a while I come across an opportunity, or at least a hypothetical opportunity, to participate in a particular activity category. And I generally "don't go there" or politely decline, or a variant of that. It's not because I find the idea distasteful. It's not even that I don't want to do it. Doing it in my imagination is actually quite pleasant. But I have this vague notion of these things potentially getting me into trouble, and I want to avoid that. My interest in doing such things may extend to having a nice little daydream about it and some staring-into-space, but it usually isn't strong enough to risk the trouble I might get into if I did it in real life. Does that make me repressed? Perhaps. But it's a repression I could easily counteract if I wanted to do that badly enough.
Some of this can be attributed to dissonant levels of self-esteem. Maybe you want me to press my thumb to your adam's apple, push your head back, dig my knee in under your ribs, and finger-walk your torso. And maybe I wouldn't mind doing that. But it would probably have to be when I'm Zillah, and Zillah mostly comes out on stage these days and not so much elsewhere, because Zillah kept getting me into trouble so I don't let her out as much now.
|
01:50 am - show
the show tonight went pretty well, tried out my new choreog for The Ceiling and it turns out to be a little too strenuous to do it all while singing. But it was still cool, so I'll just tone it down and give the more energetic parts to dancers perhaps.
Sold 3 CDs and a bunch of gummy brains. AoM was totally right about people wanting to buy different CDs.
It was a relatively small crowd this time because of the event coming up later in feb. The dj set gil did was awesome and perfect for steampunk. All swing-danceable. It's my favorite overall set at clockwork so far. And I got a copy of the set :) and I got to tell made up stories in a game of baron munchausen, which was a great great game. I had a really wonderful time. Don't think I've had this much fun at a show since the fetish ball I did in November.
The mic/monitor speaker set up tonight was perfect. I like how my singing turned out as a result. I should ask about that setup next time so I can say something less vague.
I feel happy. Should do more choreog stuff.. Perhaps Thursday after claire comes over.
And I got music played on another radio tonight, and three more albums (digital downloads) were sold this morning.
|
février 1er, 2010
06:54 pm - frickin' white people.
top asian models in western/american mainstream.. these women were put down as having the most beautiful asian faces (on an american blog)
Kiki Kang
right-click and view image to see full size
Liu Wen, first Asian Victoria's Secret model
^This is the only picture I've liked so far
Cool dress, but the eye make-up is hideous. Why is it picked as a representation of how pretty her face is? Because white people are WEIRD.
her Fusion Model Mgmt photo. Based on the way her nostrils look, I am mildly taken aback to admit that she vaguely resembles my dad.
Du Juan, the prettiest of the bunch
^I really like the makeup here. Someone knows how to do makeup for asian women. Finally.
^Louis Vuitton fashion show...here we again have caucasoid bias makeup fail.
A little better.
awesome! i-D magazine, you rock. International Design apparently knows makeup.
This is cool, but so processed that it could have been total crap makeup and you wouldn't know.
Now consider asian-based media:
And there are prettier girls where that came from if you bother to look within asian media instead of just whichever models made it to America.
Most beautiful asian faces? Those women up top? Really?
|
06:15 pm - yes, weird. This is the first time I actually bothered to listen to what I said on the documentary
and my soundbyte was surprisingly non-idiotic! "[Steampunk] is about bringing style back into the Disposable Era." I guess I meant (implied?) quality/enduring style.. I only vaguely remember saying Disposable Era, I have no idea where I got that from or if I made it up on the spot.
|
10:49 am - I was nominated for the Shorty awards and had no idea
"[clocheilde's name]
musician of [cloc's band's name] , tissue scaffold engineer, zombie conservationist
Steampunk Tales I nominate @[cloc's twitter] for a Shorty Award in #music because no one else can sing that well in such a tight corset . "
This made my day. Though the shorty awards ended about 3 days ago so I had no chance to promote, apparently this nomination camein on Jan 7. Shame on me for not seeing it. still! ^_^
Edit: apparently it doesn't show up on my @[cloc's twitter] page anyway. I found it through a very long googling of my band. So there is pretty much no way I would have been able to find out about the nomination even if I'd been checking my @me tweets religiously. Sigh. -_-
|
04:05 am - rehearsal goals
yes I have fittings this week and next for two different fashion designers, yes I have business I must conduct with my mother, yes I have a song to finish hopefully in time for two weeks from now, yes I appear to have acquired TWO new tutorees each of whom seems like she wants to meet once a week or more, yes I work essentially full time if you consider the combined hours I put in at my paying lab and the bme lab, which I really should bow out of in light of everything.
but I also really need to rehearse. The burlesque thing is worrisome because I have no idea what my costume is going to be like at this point so it's tough to know what choreography will work. I'm waiting on my burlesque leader person to get back to me about the costume stuff, and it seems she wants me to incorporate a fan. I also want to make choreog for the rest of my PC songs. Need a decent mirror for that so I can see what I'm doing, how it looks to an audience. Tues would be an ideal test run of new choreog if I can just get rehearsal time monday (today) after work, hopefully at Columbia where there's a mirrored room.
speaking of later feb, I have no idea which dancers are coming and which aren't. Candidates include Laura, Karen, Angelique, Diana, Akiri, Arydaea, and maybe Amey and Elena but those two I think will be busy with the steampunk events. Laura seems like she's going to come, Ang hasn't replied to my emails from early January. I think Karen is going to be in West Virginia..? I haven't contacted Diana to confirm yet but I think she's in.
How to do good rehearsals for myself AND complete my song in time? With possible props? The answer seems to be: I need to quit the BME lab. Gra. I will have to talk to them on Tuesday and/or email them later today.
Note to self: dl instru from dropbox
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
clocheilde